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Teen Writers Critique Group

Teen Writers Critique Group


    Seth McCarthy

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    Tia

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    Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:26 pm

    Hi, everyone. My name's Seth McCarthy, I'm 17 and I live in Hillsboro, Oregon. The city's like any other city, but I like my street 'cause there's a church real nearby, and I can go there each morning. I still somehow manage to show up late to school all the time. It's my specialized opinion that the school's clock is 10 minutes early.

    Anyway, Bosie, my best friend, I guess, came up with a weird idea yesterday. Since I'm religious, and he's looking for a good time, he dared me to break all the Ten Commandments. It'll actually be pretty interesting, I think. He promised to help me, anyway, so I'll drag him into the trouble I get into.
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    Joce
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Joce on Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:55 pm

    When did you first meet Bosie? Oh and you pass on a note to Tia?

    [Note to Tia:
    Wasn't Bosie the guy with blue hair? In the first chapter they seemed to have just met.]

    Thanks.
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:32 am

    Sure, no problem.

    (Tia speaking: Yep, spot on. However, this Seth is the Seth two months after they've first met.)

    Back to me. It was a couple of months ago. We were in the same English class for a while, but we never really talked, until I made some crack to Boscorelli. He's my English teacher, and not a very good one. Anyway, I can't even rememeber the joke, something about virgins, but Bosie died laughing and asked me 'bout it later on. I only talked to him for a few seconds though. I really got to know him at Callie's birtthday party, which was a few days after that. We weren't even at the party half the time, just sitting in Callie's garden talking. I think I became friedns with him then 'cause I told him some of my weird ideas, and he went along fine with it. Didn't clam up or look at me weridly or anything. Anyway, I think that's a rare finding in a person, someone who'll listen to you. Anne, for example, cuts across half my sentences, which is annoying as hell.
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    Emma

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Emma on Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:07 pm

    Hey Seth, nice to meet you!
    I'm curious - are you very religious, or does someone force you to go to church. I'm merely asking because I was surprised that you didn't seem opposed to breaking the 10 commandments.
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:27 pm

    Nope, I go myself, believe me. Mom doesn't even know I go, 'cause she leaves for work early in the morning. Seriously, though, ask me a question about Christianity, whatever you want, it could even be from non-Bible sources, and I'll probably know it.

    Anyway, I get how it doesn't really sound like it. Bosie came up with the idea, and in the beginning I wasn't too impressed either. I punched him, actually. Anyway, it took him a few days to convince me, and I was real against the idea in the beginning, but I got to thinking about it, and I sort of figured something out. You might not have the same views, but for me at least it makes sense. A whole lot of people, after doing something awful, really, really horrible that really hurts someone close to you, well, in the end, they realize they've done something horrible. Most people, anyway. They don't just disregard it. They feel all guilty and crap, and all ashamed and they're gonna do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Any they won't do it again, and they become closer than ever to whoever they've hurt. Either that happens, or they just don't care, and those are some of the worst people on Earth. Anyway, I wanna see if it's really like that. I wanna see if I'll get closer to my goal, or get farther away and lose my faith completely.

    Listen, one thing you've gotta know is that I'm not going to do this half-way. I'm not going to steal any old thing. I'm gonna steal something I really want, something I know I'd usually never get. I'm gonna really want it. I'm not going to steal a lollipop from a crying girl. Then it won't mean a thing. I'll steal, I dunno, maybe a super-expensive cigar or something. I haven't decided what yet exactly. But something like that, something I'd usually never get. I'm not gonna do this half way.
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    Mac
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:55 pm

    What if the people at your church discover what you're going to do? Would there be consequences?

    What's Anne like?
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:23 pm

    Oh. Good point. I sorta didn't think of that... Well, if they do find out, and I really hope they don't, I'll try and explain it to them. I don't know if they'll understand, and, now that I think about it, there's a good chance they won't. But, then again, there's one priest, Father James, who's always been nice to me and his sermons are always interesting. He's a real open-minded guy. He even tried to read His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman (you know, that book that the Church hates) but didn't like it. I admire him just for trying though. I don't know, maybe I'll go to him later on. It'd be a risk. What do you think, should I?

    Anne's a good friend of mine. I've known her for a while now, and she's great 'cause she does all my English assignments for me. Sure, she makes me pay her, but I guess I would to, if someone bugged me every time an assignment was given. She, as you can see, loves to read a lot. Especially the ancient, boring stuff, like Homer and Virgil and Gilgamesh and whatnot. She's always quoting them, and always has something to say. Most of the time it's not very kind, but at least she tells you straight-out what she thinks. It can be irritating sometimes, but she looks out for me, I guess. That, or she wants me to live my life by The Anne Kelley Rules of the Universe.
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    OmarEhab

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by OmarEhab on Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:00 pm

    Okayyy Mr. Religious, tell me what are the ten commandments?! (Don't know'em sorry!) Are they like the sacraments or something?!
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    Emma

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Emma on Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:06 pm

    I like your reasoning in regards to your motive!! (I like your characterization here, Tia!! It's a unique perspective.)

    Have you planned what you're going to do to break each commandment yet, or are you still thinking about it? Or are you just going to wait until an appropriate time arises and then just do it all impulsively?
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:05 am

    Hm... Seth, if you steal something and get caught, how will you get out of it?

    Oh and can you pass a note to Tia? Thanks Seth! (Note: Tia... how will you get away with "you shall not commit adultery?" Seth isn't married... is he? Or will it just be cheating on his girlfriend (and not necessarily cheating by sleeping with someone else?))
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Mon Aug 29, 2011 10:21 am



    Sure, no problem. Cool There's actually a difference in the Commandments, depending what you're religion is, because in the Exodus God gave Moses at least 13 or 14 important statements. Different religions have just sorted them differently, but in each religion there's always ten. I'm a Roman Catholic, so I'll do it that way. And, yeah, they're basically moral laws that you have to follow in order to be a good person.

    1. I am the Lord your God; You shall have no other gods before me; You shall not make yourself an idol
    2. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain
    3. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
    4. Honor your father and mother
    5. You shall not kill/murder
    6. You shall not commit adultery
    7. You shall not steal
    8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
    9. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife
    10. You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor

    (Thanks, Emma Embarassed You're making me blush) I have a tentative plan. I'm going to start from the last one, Do not covet anything that belongs... (you know how it goes, they're right above this) and work my way backward. I'll work out how I'm gonna break it once I get there. I've got no idea what I'm gonna do for Do not covet your neighbor's wife, for example, and that's right after this one. I have, though, figured out what I'm gonna do for my this Do not covet anything bla bla bla one. There's a family who live in the apartment above us, and mom and me got invited to lunch there once. It was nice and all, a decent place, and we got a tour of the rooms and everything. Anyway, in the father's room there was this super-awesome record collection. He let me look through it; he's got a Led Zeppelin 2 record signed by John Bonham. He's my favorite drummer. He's the reason I even took up drumming. I'm telling you, it was love at first sight. I really want that record. I've been listening to Led Zeppelin, only Led Zeppelin, for the past week, and now I want it more than ever. I swear, every time I see the guy leaving his apartment with ear buds in his ears (which is actually pretty often) I wanna rip them out. Bosie thinks I'll only have broken it though when I do something really disrespectful towards him, or unconsciously try to steal it. For the moment, I'm definitely coveting it, but not strongly enough that I'm breaking the Commandment.

    I can't really. You can't get out of stealing with some sob story. You've got something that's not yours, everyone hates you. I'll either have to spend the night in prison and disappoint mom, or disappoint someone I know so that whoever it is hates me and disappoint mom. You know, there's no way out. Mom'll be so disappointed in me, Anne'll murder me and cook my entrails (this will get around, if it happens. Stuff always does around here.), Bosie'll be all guilty, ('cause it was his idea in the first place), my schoolmates will be permanently afraid of me, that sort of stuff. And then I'll just have to try again, until I don't get caught.

    Geez, what's with all the notes? Aren't I interesting enough for you? *grumbles* (Tia speaking: Nope, not married. He's 17. Even if he wanted to be, his mom wouldn't let him XD He doesn't have a girlfriend either. The idea is, that he'll start going out with someone half-way between the book (probably Anne, though I'm not sure yet xD) and then cheat on her with someone. A girl he meets in a bar or wherever, who he's very attracted to and who has similar tastes in books, music and other things with him)
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Emma on Mon Aug 29, 2011 10:23 am

    I checked Wikipedia for definitions on adultery:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adultery#Definitions

    In some states in the US, it appears that you do not actually have to be married for your actions to be termed adultery. (See definitions for North Carolina, Minnesota).


    Last edited by Emma on Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Mon Aug 29, 2011 10:30 am

    Thanks, Emma. I'll read this. See, in Croatian (which is the language in which I learned the Commandments) it basically translates as : Do not sin obscenely. I took that to mean a number of things. Sodomy, fornication, adultery, prostitution, whatever. When I found out in English it was specifically adultery, it sort of ruined my original plans XD So I'll read this article, maybe I'll find a loophole.
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    Mac
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:35 pm

    No Seth, we've just been having questions... you weren't reading our notes, were you? Wink

    I have to say, I really admire your determination. Were you always a determined person or is there are reason for your determination?

    Hm... I have an idea what you could do for coveting your neighbours wife. You aren't married, right? Well maybe you could covet your neighbour's girlfriend (and when I say neighbour, it could be sitting next to you in Maths or Science or something).
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:02 pm

    Eh, I tried, but she snatched it out my hand. Now I've got nail marks on my palm.

    Yeah, I guess I am. Anne once told me that almost everyone is born stupid, but that I'm determined to stay that way. Honestly, though, I have always been pretty determined, when I have a good reason for it. Math, for example, I have no determination to learn whatsoever. I'll never need to use it in life. But, things that I value and that I want to see through to the end, I really work on it. Like when mom lost her job last Christmas, and she hardly had any money to spare, I cut class every other day and began working at this supermarket. She wasn't thrilled when the school called, but I did buy her that snow globe she wanted. She was so happy and hugged me for literally a whole minute, even though she did ground me later. 'Cause of the missed school. She didn't call me determined, though. She called me a 'stubborn, hardworking, little punk'. It's isn't really determination, anyway It's more like knowing what's valuable and what to pursue and treasure, and knowing what isn't.

    Nah, not married. Man, I couldn't imagine myself married. You've got a good idea though. Dominik sits next to me in French, and ever since he sang at Callie's party, he's had a new girlfriend every week. At least one decent girl should pop up.
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    Mac
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:28 pm

    Do you have any hobbies? Ambitions? Do you have any siblings?
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:39 pm

    No, no siblings. I used to have a dog. His was a golden retriever, and his name was Sunny, but when we moved to a new apartment they wouldn't let us keep him :/

    I do play the drums. But it's not anything major; it's exactly what you asked, just a hobby. I'm mediocre, not good but not terrible either. Sometimes I play when Dominik asks me to, but other than that it's just this thing I like to fool around with, something I have fun with on Saturday nights. I was real passionate in the beginning, but, I dunno, I just lost interest. Started going to church and started reading. Besides that, I'm reading the Bible, which is actually pretty darn interesting. Did you know there's incest in it? Plus people get turned into pillars of salt, towns get destroyed, prostitutes show up...

    I don't have a whole lot of ambitions. There's this Commandments thing, and if that goes well, I'd maybe be a priest. I'm not sure yet, though, whether I wanna be a priest or just study theology.
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    Mac
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:05 pm

    Would you want any siblings?

    Incest? Pillars of Salt? Prostitutes? O.O wow. I wasn't expecting that in the bible XD Have you read it before or is this your first time reading?

    Do you think you'd reveal what you did with the commandments thing to... anyone? Or will it just be you and Bosie in it?
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:26 pm

    I've never thought about it much. I dunno, it might have been nice, if maybe we were a little better off or if it was born, you know, not now. Now, there's no way we could take care of a baby. Mom works most of the day and I'm in school most of the day, so there's no way we could have a baby now. Plus, dad died before I was born, and mom hasn't really dated seriously since, so there's not even anyone to have a baby with. And, like I mentioned before, she makes just enough money now for the two of us. Another kid? No way. It's better like this, I think.

    Yeah, it's pretty cool Very Happy I even convinced Bosie to read a bit, and he's never even read Harry Potter. It's my first time reading. I've heard of some of the more popular anecdotes of course, like The Lost Son, but I've only started reading the whole thing recently. I'm now half-way through the Book of Numbers.

    For the start, it'll just be me and Bosie. I don't know, maybe eventually I'll tell Father James, or maybe, just maybe, much, much later, when it's all said and done, I'll tell mom about it. Right now she wouldn't understand; she'd think I've joined some freaky cult. And I don't even want to think about telling Anne. She'd beat me up and search my pockets for heroin.
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:22 pm

    If she'd search you for Heroin... I guess that must mean she knows you must be doing some sort of intoxicant (not necessarily illegal)... so are you? XD
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:03 pm

    Nah. I just used it as an expression, as in, she'd think the idea so crazy and unreasonable that she'd suspect I'm doing drugs. The only time I ever did drugs was with Josh, and that was only weed. However, I do smoke a whole lot. That's not illegal though, just a rotten habit. But it's certaintly intoxicant. Anne's been trying to make me quit for ages, but Bosie told me he'd be fine with it if my teeth weren't so yellow and if the smell wasn't so bad.
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    Emma

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Emma on Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:12 pm

    Are you planning to try to quit anytime in the near future? You did say you thought it was a 'rotten habit'.
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    Tia

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Tia on Wed Aug 31, 2011 11:37 pm

    I did try to quit about a year ago. I think I lasted 2 weeks.
    Dunno, maybe. I've really gotten used too it though. I think I enjoy it too much to quit. It's like when you're a kid and picking on the new guy who has braces. You start teasing him, 'cause it's so super fun, but deep down you know you probably shouldn't. In another life, I'd be a pretty mean bully.
    Besides, me smoking annoys Anne so much. I don't wanna give that up XD
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    Emma

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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Emma on Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:11 am

    LadyCobweb wrote:
    Besides, me smoking annoys Anne so much. I don't wanna give that up XD

    Haha, of course not!
    How did you and Anne meet? It sounds like you two have known each other for a while.
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    Re: Seth McCarthy

    Post by Mac on Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:47 am

    :O Please don't pick on me! I have braces Sad (They make one tooth hurt when you touch it one day and another the next. 1 year to go before get to RIP them out...)
    XD Just joking.


    You did Josh with weed? What's Josh like? Where was it?


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